Comment by brenda on March 5, 2013 at 10:27pm

Hey, Denver,

It sounds like a tough time for you, as you negotiate the services and helps available for those on the autism spectrum.

I want to tell you to "Stay the course", not so much regarding to the services, but in your own personal life path.

I know that is somewhat of a truism, but it does refer to persevering through adversity.

I think you might benefit from remembering that really you as a unique, cherished human being really haven't changed since receiving this diagnosis - you still are the same Denver, with the same memories, sensibilities,strengths, difficulties, life history, etc. - and the diagnosis may be a benefit in feeling more self understanding.

I remember in one of our online chats, you said you have the same MyersBriggs type that I do, and I felt this particular personality type, may for me, reflect on being within the spectrum. I think that people with this type are considered unique, rare, but as well gifted with creativity.

You, Denver are very creative, but as well gifted in connecting with others. Even here in the Main Chat Room you are a good friend to several of us.:)

I want to tell you to not be concerned that things aren't coming together right away, it may take some time to access what you are looking for in terms of formal support and services.I believe "One day at a time", another truism, may help, although it is easier said than done, I know.

As well, I think there is a Zen story about " just putting one foot in front of the other", to reach one's goal. That is really what I have always found the most helpful. I actually told a therapist that is my system of getting through difficulties, some years ago, and just recently read it as a story from Zen. :) It's the best way I know, anyways.

Jog, with the dogs; attend the support groups; write; sing;compose music; visit the Chat Room here; read; connect with acquaintances and friends; as well as connecting with the agencies or organizations. But maybe don't depend 100% on finding the answers you are looking for from formal agencies - tap into your own inner sources of strength and resiliency.

Please forgive me if this seems off base.

Don't hesitate to e-mail me any time, you have my e-mail address I think.

Stay well,

Brenda

Comment by Denver NeVaar on March 6, 2013 at 11:58am

Thank you for your encouragement, Brenda.  I'm just trying to note and process all the peculiar details of the present, looking for some pattern in all of it that will bring clarity to where exactly my life is going next.  Various friendships and relationships have been abruptly dropping out while a few other relationships seem to be very slowly picking up speed (no boyfriends yet, however, in spite of all attempts to the contrary....sigh).  In any case, I agree that coping with difficulties is often not so much about finding a "savior" as it is about remembering what we already know and finding a new way to apply it to current circumstances.  Blessings, love, and peace to you, now and always.  Den

Comment by brenda on March 6, 2013 at 9:25pm

Denver,

I think I was awfully preachy in my earlier comment. I hope you might forgive the tone.

I really know nothing, and am constantly forgetting what I know is the right course of action, and doing the wrong things.

In fact sometimes my life is just a mess...so thanks for your kind words.

Just wish you well!

Cheers,

Brenda

Comment by Denver NeVaar on March 7, 2013 at 12:12am

Preachy?  Well, perhaps, but I agreed with everything you said so I wasn't the least bit offended.  In fact, that's why I made that comment about remembering what we already know.  Your words were good reminders of what I already knew and I thank you for bringing those things back to the front of my mind within the present circumstances.  Sometimes we have to help each other remember, especially when life includes too many confusing distractions--which is a double-whammy for me, because I am both easily distracted and easily confused.  In any case, thank you very much for being a friend. 

Comment by Denver NeVaar on March 7, 2013 at 12:13am

P.S.  It sounds like you got hit with some discouragements today.  Is there anything I can do to help?

Comment by brenda on March 7, 2013 at 9:40am

Well, I tend to be a very harsh critic of myself, and often torment myself about the effect of my actions and words. Not sure if this a part of the autism effect, or just unique to me. :)
As well, yes I did have a rough day at work, I find our room too busy and noisy most times, and working in a small area with 15 toddlers and four adults, with different values, and ways, and then sometimes say the wrong thing to my co-workers.
However I feel recovered now after a good sleep. I'm just looking forward to the discussuin group this evening. Thank you for your sensitive observance. :)
Hope your day goes great.
Brenda

Comment by Denver NeVaar on March 7, 2013 at 2:49pm

Well, I am looking forward to this evening's discussion group here within the GRASP website as well, but so far today has been a peculiar collection of weird curve-balls, so to speak (things not turning out as expected), but not necessarily in bad ways.  Still have to find some way of dealing with certain other needs, but one way or another I always seem to find a way through.  Good luck in dealing with those peculiar coworkers.  Sounds like some of them might need as much educational therapy as the toddlers do.  In any case, I'm glad you're feeling better and I hope your day goes well.  See you tonight.  Blessings, Den

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