My name is Michael, i am 16 years old, and Aspergers is hurting my life definitely.
I didn't know i had Asperger's Syndrome, or even Autism, until i was around 13. I spent the first few years of my life with a real good friend, and then he moved to a different state.
I am currently a Sophmore in high school, and my Asperger's contributes to me getting bullied a lot. I also am very uncomfortable around females, also enhanced by being made fun of by tons of girls. My Autism had me become obsessed with "Star Wars" when i was around three. Now i constantly try to make youtube music videos of Star Wars, or find something to do dealing with Star Wars.
I also ended up having Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), and that causes me to get sick a lot of the time. My 50 year old mother has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), my 21 year old brother has Asthma, and my 23 year old sister has IBS but no Autism or anything else. My 54 year old father seems to have difficulty controlling his anger, and i am often put to blame for things.
For the past week or two, these things have been weighing down on me:
1. Aspergers- of course
2. Entomophobia (one of my phobias,i constantly stay away from flies/misquitos/secatas/ect). I had felt like a fly was on my skin, or i heard buzzing noises in my right ear causes by stress and fear after seeing lots of insects in my house. I hardly ever get to go out places as a result, and now there is nothing i want to buy, no movies i want to go see, nothing i can think of fun to do.
3. Stress from parents : My mom overworries=My dad becomes frustrated= he gets mad easier= i get in trouble for no reason sometimes. My mom called my Psychiatrist, and he had too many appointments to get to see me earlier. Whenever i don't have a lot of stress, i don't feel like there are insects by me. But when im real stressed out, or i see insects in the house, it causes buzzing noises or skin crawling from the stress. The noises and imagined skin crawling keeps me away from the computer sometimes, so i can't t do stuff i like to do on it. Then my parents would send me to bed early, when i could get back on, which caused the following symptoms order:
1.Face felt cold and twitchy
2. My legs felt really unbalanced
3. I freak out from the inability to do anything.
If my stress doesnt erupt like a volcano, i am fine, BUT:
1. My dad snores loud at night, which will keep me awake, and make me lose sleep. (My bedroom is the room to the right of my parents bedroom on 1st floor)
2. My mom doesn't believe thats the reason why, says its my "too late bedtime" and won't listen to me
3. We tried using these strips or something to keep my dad from snoring loud, and it worked two days ago, but he snored real loud last night.
4. Then my mom goes overprotective and demands i go to bed way earlier, and i get worse from the extra stress.
I started to read a book that my Therapist told my mom to buy- The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook Fifth Edition by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD (My Mom said one of her doctors had her read a earlier version)
I Noticed This in the book:
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Check off the following symptoms that are familiar to you (my dad causing me not to sleep good from snoring causes my mom to overworry and enforce bedtime stuff, its spring break now)
I noticed i felt this:
More irritable, less productivity or creativity, feeling you have little control over appetite/weight,lowered ability to cope with stress, and less enthusiasm for my future life.
then i Saw "Serotonin deficiencies are frequently associated with symptoms of depression, anxiety or both, that is why drugs that block the reuptake of serotonin in the brain- drugs such as prozac, zoloft, or PAXIL- often alleviate depression and many of the anxiety disorders.
I am now taking PAXIL, could it do any harm to me? I also have never been able to sleep in complete darkness, i have to have a certain amount of light in my room by keeping the door open at an angle.
I hope my dad will not snore real loud tonight, and i wish my mom would listen more. I hate being awake all night
I was just diagnosed with Asperger's last year - and i am a lot older than you! Sounds like a lot of the same issues and concerns - sleep, aggravating sensory stuff, medication, etc,
Have you tried a few relatively easy things - maybe a night light in your room (then you could close door), earplugs to help block snoring - that might help quite a bit without a lot of money or trouble.
I don't know about you, but i often have trouble figuring how to explain what i'm thinking when i meet with my doctor or counselor. Sometimes writing them somewhere - like you did here can help - can be very helpful at appointments. you may to give a copy (modified if you'd like) to your next appointments. this way your psychiatrist and therapist may be better able to understand what you're dealing with and (hopefully) you can 'get more out of' your appointments (always frustrating when you can't get an appointment when you really need one!)
Hang in there - you sound like you have good insight into some of the things that are bothering you - and i think you'll be able to take some practical steps to make life more tolerable.
I'm working on similar things with my therapist - trying to adjust what i do or have around me to minimize irritations that car controllable and how to 'things' (exercise, activity, inspiring quotes - whatever) available when i need some help!
Let us know how you're doing
Hi Michael. Ok, a few things. I got diagnosed when I was 18! (I'm twenty-five now) Regarding snoring and family stuff - ugh i know how you feel kuz one of the symptoms of asperger's is oversensitivity to light/sound/etc. And, family drama stinks. It affects me too. Um, be very careful with Paxil because at your age it's very dangerous but they don't say that. I was on it when I was 13 and it made me suicidal. So if you start to notice symptoms like that speak to someone immediately and consider switching medications or something. So sorry you're going through a lot. Keep reaching out, ok? Relationships are some of the hardest thing to deal with and manipulate ESPECIALLY for people with Asperger's and it can especially be a shock when you suddenly find out that you have a disability. But also, remember that there are extra abilities you have :). you just gotta find 'em. Hope it gets better.
mike...im going through most of that stuff too...by the way, if ur depressed, try citalopram ok? it should help you indefinitely..(will take a few weeks for effects to come into play)
It is common for people with Aspergers to have symptoms of sensory overload (such as sensitivity to sound) and digestive issues such as ibs. I know, because I have the same problems. I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 15, going on 16. High school was very difficult, especially socially. I know exactly what you're going through.
I kept working on my problems a little at a time, which can be very tedious. Sometimes it feels like you're just going around in circles, but those times can be a good opportunity to learn what is working and what isn't. High school is actually a good place to learn about your self and try out your social skills, as practice for later on. Just keep in mind that high school is not the real world and many people there are immature. It gets better after high school. I went on to a junior college and went to the learning asistance program.
I also volunteered. Volunteering is a great way to be around people with common interests, without that stifling feeling of school. You could volunteer somewhere such as a hospital, animal shelter, reading program, or something that interests you, for a few hour a week, as a way to get work experience that can go on your resume. Volunteering is basically going to a nice place to do a fulfilling job, so it doesn't require much socializing. Volunteering could help strengthen your relationship with your parents, by keeping busy and doing something constructive.
I hope everything goes well.