I will start off by apologizing if this gets long winded, I have a tendency to be when typing (ironic since I don't speak much in person).  I am 27 and I decided to pursue official diagnosis of AS a few weeks ago.  The choice to do so did not come lightly.  I've always known there was something different about me.  People just called me odd and I accepted and embraced it.  I was, and always will be odd and I'm actually in preference of that.  After the show Big Bang came on my sisters lovingly started to call me Sheldon (who has no official diagnosis of anything on the show, nor will he ever according to writers).  It wasn't until a few months ago that a friend of mine was telling me how Sheldon was highly regarded as someone who exhibits signs of AS.  Now prior to hearing that all I knew about AS was from the character Jerry Espenson on Boston Legal, who I am nothing like with the hopping, the popping noises and the hands constantly on the thighs.  Due to my lack of knowledge on the subject I decided to dig deeper and find out more about AS.  After reading multiple resources online it clicked right in.  Everything made sense.  The way I act, the things I say (or don't say), my OCD, my anxieties, my complete lack of social ability outside of the people I'm close to, my obsessions and habits.  It was after a few weeks of research that my best friend (so far the only person I shared my possible diagnosis with) helped set me up with an appointment to be diagnosed.  Needless to say my suspicions were confirmed.  It was a huge weight off my shoulders.  It's probably not an appropriate way to say this, but I no longer felt "broken" anymore.  I always felt like I had so many random things wrong with me that there was no way they could be connected and no way I could get past them.  I've been thought to have ADD/ADHD, OCD, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Bi-Polar Disorder.  I'll admit I have Social Anxiety and I am OCD, but Bi-Polar and ADD/ADHD never seemed to fit me right. I certainly don't have focus issues, I just fidget and fiddle with things all the time.  And my mood swings aren't random highs and lows, they are always triggered by something, but sometimes that event is so nominal it makes people think it was random.

My problem lies in telling other people.  So far the only people that know are my best friend, who is 100% in support and is happy I finally have a diagnosis I feel comfortable with and two of my sisters who are somewhat on the fence, but support me anyway.  I have a partner of 3 years and I know I need to tell him because it would be a tremendous help in our relationship if he knew why I acted the way I do sometimes, but I can't seem to do it.  I know it is partly because I find it nearly impossible to express emotions verbally so every time I go to tell him my mouth opens, but words don't come out.  Then another part of me thinks about when I had to tell my sisters (the only people in my family I am really close to).  Their reaction was disbelief and them telling me I didn't have it and I was imagining things.  Then their comparisons to everything as being normal behavior.  Comments like "Well some people are just shy" when talking about how I don't interact well with new people and my selective mutism.  And  comments like "Little boys like bugs, it's normal" when trying to remind them that as a kid I would collect and study insects and read/study field guides to insects from cover to cover or hearing "You're just a 'disordered eater'" when telling them why I'm a picky eater because I hate certain smells and textures of foods or food that are over-seasoned. When I tell them I follow the same routines every morning and I do the same things over and over (including eating my food in a specific order) I'm told everyone has routines and systems for doing things.  When I tell them it makes me angry and frustrated when a system or routine is broken they tell me that's normal (maybe it is?).  These are just a few of the many things said.  About the only thing they thought was weird was that I used to read and study the dictionary and encyclopedias.

The reaction of my sisters seemed to be more on the lines of "What makes AS different from regular old personality traits?"  And I struggle trying to describe or explain it.  Maybe it's because I'm not really sure, much of it does seem awfully subjective to standard personality traits.  Some people are just shy or socially awkward.  Some people do have specialized topics of interest, that's how people choose their career paths.  Some people are just OCD and/or have anxiety (though theses are co-morbids to AS).  It's hard for me to explain my feelings in certain situations so I don't think they understand the intensity.  I feel like by telling people, even if it is only the people closest to me who it may also affect, I also have to be in a position to defend myself from backlash.  I usually pull away and "shut down" when I have to talk about emotions and even more-so when I need to defend my position on something involving emotions so I'm not sure how I should go about addressing this with my partner and other family and close friends.  My sisters came around, one of them bought me books and bought herself books to educate us on the subject so that was nice... in fact "Asperger's From the Inside Out" by Michael John Carley is what led me to this site.  I know it would take time for them to adjust to the idea (it took me a bit too), but it just seems so daunting to have to go through that over and over with each person.  I'm tired just thinking about it.

Enough rambling.  To sum up my overly-personal statement above.  I'm just wondering how other people face the backlash and skepticism that comes with revealing your diagnosis as an adult?  According to the books this is common, but the clarity on what makes AS different from many personality traits is what always gets me because there always seems to be a "normal rationalization" for all of the behavior associated with AS.  Couple that with resources always saying "Some people may have these symptoms and other people may not have these symptoms" it gets really vague and confusing as to what actually defines someone as having AS.  I try to explain that a lot of it has to do with context and internal thoughts and feelings, but I don't know if I explain it correctly or if I am even correct.  With everything that is going on with the DSM-V debate with them possibly changing the diagnostic requirements for Autism and AS it seems like this is a touchy subject and a lot of people seem to think it's all vague or subjective.  I'm just trying to learn as much as I can and educate myself so I can better address the subject.